3 goin on 30

We've been married 3 years on April 11th. Feels like more. It's the most satisfying and wonderful thing to be in a happy, healthy relationship. A lot has happened since we've been married! Moved across the country, I got my license and first job as a nurse, Dan (almost) graduated with his bachelor's degree, we survived the 4th worst tornado in history (literally, Dan saw it on the weather channel), and we brought the most perfect child into this world... so productive!

We love each other a lot. And tell each other at least ten times a day. I'm so thankful we are happy and content just being together. Every day is an adventure. I'm so glad I get to go through all these crazy adventures with him.

Our love gets better every day. We can only imagine the love we will have when we add a zero to that three!

We had a little photo shoot in the backyard. It will be great when Jude can take pictures for us. :)

And then he decided he was done.

And then we got attacked by mosquitoes.

For dinner we dined on grilled pineapple and chicken and garlic lemon potatoes. And of COURSE Martinelli's! Of course.

And then we played with our baby some more.

And he grinned and laughed with his Daddy.

These two are best of friends already.

Preparing to take flight...

And then a little bit of this... yes!

oh, life lately

My two month old baby is precious. He is the young love of my life. The first month was so completely magical, yes, but it was also a whirlwind- very overwhelming, sleepless, and intense. The waters have calmed this second month. He is sleeping so well, usually six to seven hours a night. The days of rocking him endlessly are few and far between. He even likes his swing. He almost always falls asleep in his bassinet on his own. He is breastfeeding like the champion of all champions. We are really getting the hang of it. It's not such an all-encompassing-stop-everything-else-you-are-doing-prepare-for-at-least-an-hour-affair now, it is just kind of a sweet, enjoyable little experience I get to share with my baby eight times a day (at least, Mary says). He loves his little Occy (pacifier dragon). His personality has quadrupled within the past month. He is smiling, laughing, grinning, playing, kissing, talking (baby talk, ya know), and cuddling. My heart belongs to that 11 pound 11.5 ounce babe.

nothing like kisses from mama

I am also feeling so much more like myself. I feel like I am getting my body back and am not just the most awkward, pained, subcutaneous creature on earth anymore. I have been exercising, getting dolled up, getting out of the house, oh it's divine. I even wore my cigarette jeans last night! The joy that filled my bosom when they fit was insurmountable.

We just had the best weekend ever. I finally got Dan to myself so we brought the aero bed into the living room and watched movies, had dance parties, made homemade pizza, talked, cuddled, all the good stuff. I'm pretty sure Dan did not get off that bed for approximately six hours on Friday. He needed some R&R. :)

Now that he is two months old we are do have to avoid crowds like the plague anymore. We still avoid them, but boy is it nice to be able to take him to the store! We celebrated Valentine's Day again last night and went out dinner, compliments of Grandma and Grandpa James and Jude. (They got together and decided we needed a night out and arranged it.) We put in our name at Longhorn Steakhouse and since it was supposed to be an hour wait we walked all around the shops at Midtown Village and pushed Jude around in his little pram. It was freezing cold and raining. We didn't mind. Jude was a trooper as he was harshly exposed to the elements between stores. Whenever he is suddenly cold he takes a huge gasp  like he is catching his breath. It is hilarious. Dinner was the most fun ever. We were starving, so bread, water, chicken tortillas roll-ups (our free entree), and two delicious steaks complete with mashed potatoes (of course), sweet potatoes, and salads was the most delicious meal we could have ever dreamed of. Although I wouldn't have minded a little taste of my neighbor's Chocolate Stampede (AMAZING). I was a little nervous when Jude got hungry but I donned my nursing cover and all was well. Our very flamboyant waiter and other father-of-two server were very sweet and made me feel at ease.

We also went to church today. Jude's first time. It was so nice to be there together as a family. I'm a proud mama. He was awake for the first two hours laying contently in his pram, slept for almost one, and then got hungry about ten minutes before church got out. What a good boy.

In sacrament meeting Dan looked over at me and with a sweet smile said, "I've waited for this for so long... sitting in church with my little boy." I will say, looking over seeing my gorgeous husband sweetly cradling our swaddled up sleeping baby was one of those moments where everything makes sense, life is perfect, and nothing matters but the love we have in our little family. The love we have, centered on Christ, is all we need in life. With that we are strong enough to venture our way through the world and be stronger in the end.

Life has been a little crazy. Dan has hardly had five minutes to relax up until yesterday. He has been out of town for the past two weekends, leaving me a lone woman in the wilderness. My shotgun skills are now up-to-date (just in case), I learned that I may not leave the lights on in the car for ten measly minutes while I feed my unhappy, bawling baby or it will die twenty minutes out of town in the back corner of a dark parking lot where the semi drivers sleep and I must trek into the gas station to ask a complete stranger to help me (don't ward a family from the ward just happened to be there), I got caught up on the Bachelor (my guilty pleasure), and ate instant mashed potatoes for every meal. Dan was at MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) in Montgomery. Yes, for the Navy. The Navy?! The Navy. We are pursuing the Health Professions Scholarship in the Navy and the Air Force (shh, don't tell our recruiters). Dan was put up in the fanciest hotel (potential Officer treatment), woken up at a sunshiney 4:00 AM, and had to waddle on his knees in his underwear for a crowd, obtain a urine sample with his five closest strangers while standing on a line of tape and being carefully watched, and other fun things. Oh, the things we do. We also sent in our official acceptance to VCOM!

Life is the biggest adventure. We love it.

35 YEARS.

Happy 35th Anniversary 

to the sweetest, most wonderful parents!! I grew up with a perfect example of what love is and how marriage should be. As I have grown up, I've realized this and also how truly rare it is. They compliment each other perfectly. They put the Lord first and are wonderful examples of how the Lord has guided their lives and made so much of them through their consecration. They are content just being together. They don't need anything big or fancy to make them happy. I am so thankful I have this example to pattern my own life and marriage after. It is obvious to everyone they know how happy they are. People respect and look up to them because they really just "get it." Nothing makes me feel better than to hear my parents say Dan and I remind us of how they were at that age. I can only hope our lives and our marriage will be as eternally successful as theirs has been so far.

35 years may seem like a lot, but in the eternal scheme of things they are still as newly-wedded as this precious little couple above. I am thankful they have been sealed together in the holy temple and have been faithful to those covenants that they may be able to be together for ever and ever!

Their hairs may be graying but they are just as young and vibrant on the inside as they have ever been, probably more. Life has not brought them down and made them tired and weary like it does to so many. It has invigorated them with a love for life and those around them. They truly live a full and happy life. They have all they need in each other.

So perfect together. 

Two peas in a pod. 

A power couple by every definition of the phrase.

They make me laugh and smile and feel warm inside every day of my life. They are just simply the best. I have so many times wondered how I am one of the lucky two who have them as my very own mother and father. So many look to them as mother and father figures in their own lives. I know how I lucky I am and am so very thankful to call them my own.

Happy Anniversary Mama and Daddy!!! We love you sooo much and are so glad we could make you grandparents!!!! <3 Thank you for loving and supporting us endlessly in all that we do.

better better

it's amazing what six days off work can do. six days to be a wife and a full-time baby-grower!my baby is the size of a sweet potato right now. that's soooo big! i haven't "felt" my little sweet potato yet, but i do oftentimes get random pains and vibrations and stuff that are probably the baby but i just can't distinguish yet. and if i do think i kind of feel something (which i actually am right now) and dan's not around i will ignore it because i want him to be there for the first kick. according to thebump...

"Baby's become amazingly mobile, passing the hours yawning, hiccupping, rolling, twisting, kicking, punching, sucking, and swallowing."

that sounds like fun. and tiring. i have spent the last week at home, loving every minute making dinners and playing games with my hubby. i even went to the gym twice! and worked out! woah. go me! i feel so hard core in there with my spandex. i love it because i have an excuse not to push myself and get too out of breath. i just enjoy my workout and walk on the incline. it's great. the UA rec center is the bombbb. swimming is the best workout anyways...

we went to the doctor yesterday. blood pressure was 120/70 (so happy about that). weight was 134.5 and the doctor said "you are gaining about a pound per week, which is healthy but we don't want you to gain any more weight than that..." THANKS. somebody needs to "lay off the ice cream..." but i knew i didn't really weigh that much. i went to the gym and i weighed 132.5. thank youuu dr smith. the baby's heart rate was 144 and still beating in there!! such sweet moments. that was the extent of the entire visit. oh, and the usual void in a cup to pass through the whole in the wall. if i had a UTI i think they would be the first to know about it.

our big ultrasound is june 25th. that means we get to see our baby. see the fingers and toes and see if we are having a little rambunctious, red-headed rachy or a bright-eyed baby danny. so thrilled about it either way. (although i am getting a girl vibe)

dan is the ever so studious. he has a whole MCAT study plan he created. he studies three chapters a day and takes practice tests every monday. i'm so proud of him. he is also taking two classes this semester! raquetball and weight lifting. he bamboozles everybody with his racquetball skills (typical) and weight lifting... not his favorite but he's doing great. vin diesel body here we come!

we are craigslist fiends and have almost gotten all the furniture for our new apartment.

futon - $80

loveseat & ottoman- free

tv stand - $40

coffee table & 2 side tables - $40

2 lamps - $10

we take joy in furnishing our apartment for what most people would pay for one sofa. &i'm currently in the process of making a bean bag chair. it's going to be the crowning joy of my life so far. so all we need now is a dresser and maybe a floor lamp. we'll need to buy some organizing shelf/drawer things when we get there, but we have most of the big stuff.

so, why was the loveseat and ottoman free you wonder? here's how the story goes. we found a "loveseat and ottoman - $50" that we liked. it was oversized and soft and comfy looking. the ottoman opens up and is a secret hiding place and the couch part turns into a little bed! how sweet and multi-functional. and it wasn't a hideous floral pattern! it's white and greyish tan pinstripe. so we emailed them and told them we'd like to come look at it. they replied and we decided for the coming monday. they emailed us back and said "i think my wife knows you..." turns out the lady was dan's statistics teacher from last semester (of the tornado) and she had known what happened and they wanted to give it to us for free.

"the universe does make sense" :]

HomeSweetHome

I spent a week at home being loved and loving my sweet mama and daddy while my sweetie pie husband snorkelled and researched coral reefs and sponges in the Bahamas. It was just exactly what I needed and more. We justified the trip because I needed some dental work done. My sweet, humble, giving, wonderful cousin Brad did all my dental work for free! Out of the goodness of his heart. Thank you Brad and Chelsea!!! I also needed a root canal... which was done by a complete stranger, for a complete stranger, for me!! for free!! a root canal! Because he had heard about my situation.... Sigh. Such kindness and love I can't even explain right now. It is so humbling and feels so good to be the recipient of so much love from others. If you are one of those people that has a hard time accepting help from others, you really should try it and let people serve you when you need it. It will change your life!!! It's changed mine!

twinners

So when I went out there I thought I didn't need a root canal after all, just a crown. So we went in to see Brad (i mean, Dr. Peterson DDS), he did an x-ray and.... "You're going to need a root canal after all." My heart was racing, my toes were tightly clenched, my respirations were around 30 or so. I cried for my Mommy. I was so terrified! So my mom and I hopped in the car and drove up to St. George, spent the night with my sweet Aunt Judy and trekked the next day up to Draper, UT- location of Dr. Chad Molen, the imfamous endodontist! Okay, please listen to me... if you live in Utah Valley and ever need a root canal or endodontic work, do yourself a favor and go see Dr. Molen! He is like Picasso of root canals. They have a massage chair and good magazines (Seventeen) in their soothing dark green painted waiting room with classical music softly playing in the background. They are so homey and cute and the office is all his. Once you get in the chair, you are overlooking the beautiful mountains of Utah Valley through big glass windows. Dr. Molen's exudes confidence and skill as he gently guides the needle around your mouth to numb you up. And can I just say... those shots did not hurt! At all! He did all sorts of tricks to help it not hurt. It was such a relief. Then the root canal began. And thanks to a dental dam and a jaw holder opener and I was perfectly comfortable... and fell asleep! My root canal experience was sitting in a massage chair and a nap. It only took an hour and out the door we were with big smiles on our faces. Thank you Dr. Molen! I will never forget your kindness to me.

My mom even treated me to a MCFLURRY for being so brave!! Sigh. It's the life. We drove a lot in that day and a half but we had such a nice time being together and talking. Thank you Mommy for driving the wholllle way even though I wanted to help out and drive! She wouldn't let me. We also visiting Grandpa and Grandma Hickman! It was so good to see them. They are so sweet and always have lots of good stories. :)

But don't worry, that's all not with the dental visits. I had another one to get my crown put on. I know have an all gold tooth. It's so shiny and pretty. I love it. You can only see it if I open my mouth up wide or smile really, really big. Dan said when he picked me up from the airport and I smiled (so big I'm sure) he saw it. He liked it. How did a get a gold crown? Oh, just some more selfless service from friends. Bishop Dixon did all the impressions and everything for free. He is so sweet and humble and it was fun visiting him at his office.

The rest of the trip we ran errands and just tried to relax as much as possible. It was simply blissful. No destruction. No rubble. No bobcats or chain saws. Just pretty trees and well-groomed roads and a perfectly unrealistic way of life for most people. Lovely. We went on several walks through the golf course and admired the sweet little bunnies and quails as we made our way to the new Tivoli shops, so much fun admiring and strolling through the Little Italy. We ate plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. Soo delicious! I know I got all my Aantioxidants last week. A fun little lunch with the girls at The Cheesecake Factory. A trip or two to Costco (yes, I did get a chocolate chip gelato... of course!!!). A couple more trips to Target. My mom and dad spoiled me and took me shopping... I am all set! My sweet Daddy was such a good sport. He came with me and mom to get my hair cut and eyebrows waxed!! We already knew he was a gem! He loves his girls. :)

Plenty of bonding time with Tubby. She is the most precious little creature. Attempted to watch The King's Speech several times but we always put it on when we were tired and would fall asleep. Still, a very good movie! The Bachelorette (x2)! So thrilled I was there for two Mondays. Plenty of visits to my sweet Daddy at his office just to visit. I loved to be introduced to all his "girls" at the office (Cupcake, Shasta, Chocolate Thunder, Shortcake... he makes nicknames for all of them and they love it). And reminiscing through all the old notes we have written him over the years that he still has there in his office drawer! Soo precious!! Like, a love note I wrote to him in 1990. Sigh. So much love!

just a little pampered

Memorial Day we had our very own pool party, just the four of us (Mom, Dad, me, and Tubby). It was so perfect. Gliding around on the blow up lounge chair as we listened to the water fall splash and ate popsicles and fruit. Tubby even got on with me!! I was soo thrilled. She wasn't scared because she trusts me. :) We then made a delectable Phyllo Fruit Tart and headed over to their Empty Nesters Family Home Evening. It was a wonderful evening full of fun, mature conversations and even more mature food!

Another highlight was organizing the fridge for my sweet Mama and Daddy. I love it. It's so rewarding and they are always soo appreciative. I also managed to squeeze in some schoolwork... and I got it done! Yay.


I love my Mama. She is always right there when I need her. She always puts me first and would do anything for my happiness. She is willing to sacrifice any of her own needs for mine, and always does. She and I have so much fun together, whether we are looking around at Target or just hanging out on the couch. Everytime I see her I think she gets younger and younger! I am so proud of her and how much she prioritizes her health. So active and young... she has more energy than I do! I love you Mommy!! Can't wait to see you in a few months. :)


I am a Daddy's girl. He is a man after my own heart and I am a girl after his. We always get along and just know how to have fun. He always loves me and makes me feel like the greatest girl in existence! And I know to him I am. I always learning from him and I hope to be like him. He always makes me and my mom laugh- from his dance moves to his hearty singing voice to his cute little ways.

I love you Mom and Daddy! Thank you for taking care of me and just letting me be their little girl. I needed that!

valentine time!

happy valentine's day to the love of my life!

i love it when we cuddle and giggle like two little kids. it is by far the best feeling ever.

i love him.
i love him.
i love him.
i love him!

my heart still jumps and my heart pumps when i see this sweet smile! ...

and happy valentine's day to everyone else that i love! i have the most precious family in the world. i love my mama. i love my daddy. i love my brother. i love my brother's sweetie. i love dan's mama. i love dan's daddy. i love my sweet, adorable sisters. i love my grandpas and grandmas. i love my aunts. i love my uncles. i love my cousins. i love my dear sweet friends that are so much more than friends. i love my...

you!

did you see my new blog? it's www.lovesosimple.blogspot.com :]

the ponderings of my heart

Luke 2:19 - "But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart."

I can relate to Mary. My mind has been one of deep reflection and pondering over the past few months, especially over the past weeks since the illness and passing of my faithful, strong, indescribably wonderful Grandfather. My father was blessed enough to receive all of my grandfather's books at his passing. I was blessed enough to receive a copy of my grandfather's autobiography... which is a complete gem and basically scripture to me. Let me struggle through this, because it is completely and surely impossible for me to even try to describe how I feel.

As the sun rose this morning I laid down with that precious book my grandpa wrote as I left my current existence and joined his. Every sentence, every story, every event in his life was... guided. And took him on a path exactly where he was meant to go. Every occasion that brought him the slightest bit of pain or hardship hurts my heart more than I can bear. But I know these events molded him into the unbreakable stone of a man he is.

When he was eleven years old, his older brother was beginning to attend priesthood meetings. Grandpa was not yet old enough but the bishop understood his need for the male companionship and so he allowed him to come along. Grandpa says, "I started to attend priesthood meetings early and still remember some of the lessons given at those meetings, one in particular on "The Fraternalism of the Priesthood." It had a profound impact on me as I contemplated then and even now as I think of the brotherhood of the priesthood."

This gives us even a tiny glimpse of the man my grandfather was even at eleven years old. The stories are endless. He has so many accounts of faithfulness and obedience in his life that have led to miracles where the Lord was able to extend His hand in my grandfather's life.

My grandfather was faithful. He was a rock of obedience and righteousness. He understood where happiness was found and what was truly mattered in life. He put the Gospel and his family above all else. As I eagerly read from page to page I was so excited for the parts about my father. My dear dad has such an unbelievably special place in my heart, and I know I do in his too. It was wonderful to read my grandfather's words about my father. "He has always been strong in body and spirit." It is clear to me that my father had a special place in his father's heart. And I feel that special love from my grandpa passed on to me (as I am sure every grandchild does).

As I read about my heritage and see how every little event leads to the next, how my grandfather's character was built little by little, but steadily, I have realized where I fit in. My father was a joy to his father. My father grew up at the feet of this noble and strong patriarch, seeing first hand his hard work and faithfulness to the Gospel. And this has shaped my father into the man he is today, who is also faithful and "strong in body and spirit." Somehow I am blessed enough to be his daughter, who was raised by the most loving and diligent parents, who taught me and raised me up in righteousness from the moment I was placed in their loving arms. It is my responsibility to carry on this tradition and honor the heritage of my fathers. I do have great responsibility because of what I know and all I am blessed with. I have these righteous men and women to look to and learn from and I would be shaming their name if I did not live the kind of life that they have and that would bring them pride in what I have done with their name.

I want to honor my grandfather. I will live my life always remembering the life he lived and all he sacrified to give my father a better life, who sacrified to give me a better life. How I deserve it I do not know. But I will spend my days trying to deserve it and trying to live faithfully to keep us sealed together and safe in our covenants.

The feelings I feel I can not quite describe, but I feel them. I am changed because of this. My heart is truly turned to my fathers.

favorites

a few of my favorite things:

1. taylor swift's "you belong with me"

dan and i have been playing this song at least once a day,

he learned it on the guitar for me and we play&sing.

and our all-time favorite:

blasting the music video in our living room and dancing our hearts out!

spinning, dipping, twirling, slow-dancing, the whole shabang.

it. is. the. greatest.

you should try it, you will be sooo happy.

2. fruit&vegetables

are the love of my life.

the other dan day and i were talking about what it would be like if we had lots of money... like, millions.

i said... "our fridge would be stalked with an unlimited supply of fruits&vegetables."

i have a million dollars and i'm dreaming about fruits&vegetables,

they make me that happy.

in our kitch at this very moment:

apples

kiwis

bananas

grapes

blueberries

strawberries

spinach

bell pepper

cucumber

squash

tomatoes

onions

avocados

lettuce

lemons

limes

mmmmmm!

3. dreaming

about what i want out of my life,

what things are most important to me,

what kind of world i want for my children,

and how i can get it.

it is my minds favorite thing to occupy itself with.

i think it is essential to have goals for my life and really, really think

about what kind of mom i want to be and how i will raise and protect my children in this world.

cuz it's KRAZY out dare.

i might even be starting a blog on this subject alone.

my own journal to refer to, inspire me, and help me in my journey.

loves!

to honor and be inspired

Last weekend my husband and I had the opportunity to attend the funeral of my dear Grandfather. We never expected to receive all that we did. Funerals typically have a reputation of being very sad and mournful, with black outfits and flowing tears. Yes, this was all there in part, but it was significantly overshadowed by feelings of awe towards our incredible grandfather. And I know when I say this I speak for not only me but the rest of our truly special family. His life was one of great acheivements, all accomplished through his dedication and unwavering faith to the Lord. He just "got it." He understood what brought happiness in life. He was not tempted by the things of the world because he realized they meant nothing, yet he acheived more in his 84 years than most. He truly was the "superior man" as my sweet father described in his talk...

“The superior man is spiritual. He exemplifies simplicity. He abhors being conspicuous. He is dedicated to service. Superior people are never bitter. Pessimism is the philosophy of vulgarity. The superior person is clean. His fellowship is refreshing. He is above his pleasures…A superior man is gentle, Superior men are humble-minded, or teachable, and they learn from passersby. The superior man is one with whom familiarity does not breed contempt. The superior man lasts; he wears well.” (President Harold B. Lee about Dwight B. Einsenhower)

That truly describes my dear grandfather. His 7 children, 47 grandchildren, and 101 great-grandchildren have all been deeply touched by being a part of his life and we all felt so loved by him. I know I feel honored to have been one of those 47 grandchildren. I can truly say now I understand those scriptures that say the hearts of the children were turned to their fathers. I feel a strong desire deep within me to live a faithful life to honor the name I have been given. I want to live an honest and unwavering life to honor my grandfather and be a woman that he would be proud of. He truly led by example, never boasting, just constantly serving, whether in the temple or in the kitchen.

"Our father was the greatest man I have ever known. To us, his children, he was the very personification of a patriarch. He was our ‘Abraham’ who at a young age, in spite of having a father who was antagonistic to the church, sought for the blessings of the fathers. He desired to be a “greater follower of righteousness, to be a father of many children, a prince of peace, desiring to receive instructions and to keep the commandments of God.” Having been raised by a widow in the heart of the depression, he did not have the benefit of a righteous patriarch to train him and whose example he could follow. Consequently, he was acutely aware and desired that his children have a righteous example to whom they could look. I remember, from my earliest youth, kneeling down every morning for family prayer. When my father would pray, it was unlike other prayers I have ever heard. When he would talk to his Heavenly Father, the veil was thin and you felt as though the very heavens were making note of his requests. I once asked him, “How did you learn to pray like that?” He said that as a young boy, because he did not have a father, he learned to turn to his Heavenly Father for guidance and counsel."

My Uncle Whitney spoke at the funeral and gave the life sketch and it was soo incredible. The stories he told were priceless and wonderful! My grandfather was not only faithful, but full of life and so much love. I have a copy of his autobiography and I am so excited to read it and learn more about the inspiring life of my grandfather.

What a blessing it was to be with family. We truly are a special family. We are so close-knit and there is so much love between us. What an amazing posterity my grandfather has begun. We can only spend our lives trying to make him proud and stay close as he would want us to.

As the days after the funeral have continued to pass, I continue to feel such a sense of gratitude and humility for my blessings. To be a part of the family I am so blessed to be in, to have sat at the feet of such a faithful patriarch and learned from him, to be sealed be sealed to my sweet mother, father, and brother in the temple as the first sealing he performed, and to have him seal me to my eternal companion and best friend.

He has gone ahead to prepare the next great James family reunion with his dear wife, Grandma Norma James. I know he is with me now and my life truly is forever changed by his influence.

As my sweet father said, "God Speed and fair well Great Patriarch, we look forward to sitting at your feet again someday."

little Sydney, our love

the James gang :)

i just loved this picture for some reason, Sparky is the greatest :)

BCF FOREVER!! LANDMU!

lovin the love :)

i had the most lovely time with my mother and dear grandma. from our costco/gelato trips to our girls day out with grandma... my love for my grandmother grew 100 fold times this trip! she is such a sweet lady. and i love you mom!

goodness

dan and i were on our day long journey home from salt lake city from dear grandpa's funeral and we had a two hour layover in phoenix. i had just left all my family and my parents and i was just not having a good day. dan couldn't do anything right and i had a permanently furrowed brow and little frown on my face. we got to phoenix and walked across the whole airport to get to our gate... stopping on every conveyor belt and letting it slowly drag us and our one hundred pounds of belongings across the never ending corridors.

we wanted to eat something nutritious so we wouldn't be sick after a day of peanuts, soda, and watermelon sour patch kids so we decided to eat at a little mexican place. all the tables were taken so we were trying to scope out a spot to no avail. there was a 60-something lady sitting down at a table for four eating a wendy's salad with chili on top, we thought she looked nice enough so i asked her if we could sit down and share a table. she kindly allowed and as dan went to go get our burrito, beans, & rice, i set down my mountain and we began to talk. i quickly explained our story... in school, nurse, where we lived, etc. dan came back and plopped our meal down on the table.

"why do you only have one meal? are you not very hungry?"

"it's just so expensive here we are going to share..."

(pulls up out her wallet) ... "let me treat you"

we of course tried to refuse it but she insisted. as dan accepted the two five dollar bills i noticed tears streaming down my cheeks. i couldn't hold back! i did feel a little ridiculous, so i explained to her what we had been out in utah for and why i was a little "emotional."

she didn't know what a hard day we were having. she didn't know i was feeling down and sad. she didn't know that i had just said goodbye to my grandpa and then my sweet parents and grandmother at the airport. she didn't know how much she would touch my heart and help me realize what good people are out there! we had lunch together and had a really nice talk for about twenty minutes. what a nice lady.

thank you for being so kind and sharing your heart with us. thank you for helping me so much that day... i will never forget your humble kindness to me!

my dear grandpa

My dear sweet grandfather has passed on to the next life to be welcomed on the other side with so much love and anticipation. I can't even fathom the love he must feel as he was welcomed by his dear sweet Norma and all those that he touched in his life.

I can only begin to express my gratitude and love for my dear Grandpa. I am in awe of how many lives he has touched and how many people admire him and revere his name. He has left such a legacy through his posterity. I feel such a desire to honor his name and live righteously. I know he is watching over me and I always want to live in a way that will make him proud of who I am. He was an incredible example of righteousness and unwavering faithfulness. He motivates me to be the kind of person he was. As my cousin Paul said... "a man I will always try to model my life after." It was so wonderful and special to me that we all have such fond and special feelings about Grandpa and all feel the far-reaching effects of his love.

My dear grandfather truly is an amazing man. He was a well-respected dentist who sacrificed so much to provide for his family. He loved so much and so many. He was a sealer and a patriarch. The first sealing he performed was sealing me to my family. Although I do not remember, I still have sweet memories from the stories I have been told and what I can imagine. He gave me my patriarchal blessing when I was 15 years old and how truly in tune with the Spirit he was. I hold that blessing so close to my heart and am so thankful that my grandfather was able to be the mouthpeice of Heavenly Father to me. He sealed me to my dear husband, the greatest gift I could receive. I can't express the deep love, gratitude, and admiration I have for him. I will never forget the words of counsel he gave to Dan and I during our ceremony. I remember looking at him in his white clothes and thinking "he truly is an angel." He really is an angel to me.

Although this time is so hard, I feel an overwhelming sense of peace that I can't deny. Peace that he is safe and loved and doing the work of the Lord. Peace in knowing that he is happy and he could not have lived a more dedicated life.

As my cousin Melynie said, "Peace in the most flawless life you've ever seen lived. Peace because of the joyous, heavenly reunion that must be happening right now. Peace because even though it was sudden, I got to say goodbye, and thank you, and I love you. And peace in the absolute conviction that families are eternal and that I will indeed see him again. And joy and gratitude in the legacy that he blessed us with, and in the relationships that are still located here on earth."

I couldn't say it any better!

I love you Grandpa! There is a place in my heart that is yours and always will be. :]

lots of love.

pillow talk last night...

D: i loved being with you all day and night today...

R: we weren't together all day!

D: i know, but i was thinking about you all day so i feel like i was :]

moments like this make my love for him just want to burst out of my chest!!

we watched the 'the Last Song' with miley cyrus (hannah montana according to dan) last night. he is finally watching chick flicks with me without it being a holiday! oh, AND it had our song in it by feist... feel it all. it was love. we embrace the cheesiness; it's fabulous.

on a more serious note, my dear grandpa James is in the hospital with some pulmonary problems. he is on a ventilator right now and will probably be going back to Heavenly Father soon. i can't help but think back on all my memories with him and what an instrumental and special part he has played in my life. he sealed me to my family and to my husband. he has always been a perfect example of dedication to the Lord and to family. how thankful i am to have him in my life. i wish i could be there with him and take care of him and make sure he knows how much i absolutely adore him, but i know he knows. he probably won't get a chance to read this, but i hope he can feel my deep love and gratitude for him. i'm praying for you Grandpa!