catharsis

what i ________ about my job

emptying poop out of a plastic bag connected to somebody's stomach

pulling tubes out of and cleaning the body of a recently deceased woman with a highly contagious disease (so thankful she's in a better place)

assisting a woman of 370 pounds back into her bed and not being able to tell what part of her body is where ("you can sit down now" ... "i am...." ... "ohh...")

seeing multiple dimply, saggy bums through the open back of a hospital gown nightly

asking perfect strangers about their bowel habits, in detail

more experienced nurses treated me like nothing more than an incompetent little hassle to them and their ever so superior life (did you forget we have the same job and same position, and i would never want this job to be the culmination of my career?)

being nervous to call a doctor and tell him something to which he will probably say "uhmm.. okay... (youwokemeupforthat?)"

walking down the hall to leave the hospital and literally feeling like i've just been beat up, several times

just as i'm done helping my patient with whatever, i take my gloves off, thoroughly wash my hands... and as i'm half-way out the door they say "can you fix my sock?"

patients who say "open the blinds. empty my urinal. give me my medicine and then you can go." really?

trying so hard to do everything right that i know how and be a good nurse and it never being enough

it almost all makes it worth it when my favortie 80 something year old patient with the worst and cutest dementia has a harpers bazaar magazine in his room and when i first visit him he says "well, you better just pull up a chair and spend the night!"