(phone convo)

R: "i've been just eating whenever i want and sleeping whenever i want. i just have no structure..."

D: "you just live it up babe"

R: "this is not living it up, it's more like surviving."

D: "okay, you survive then."

so i'm surviving now. my sweet soul mate is off on his bahamian adventure. he left yesterday, rode on a bus to memphis, and flew out of memphis to miami. we could talk and text and chitty-chat while he was travelling, which made my heart pitter-patter. i've never answered the phone so fast... "HELLO!?!!" the night before we stayed up until midnight so we could make a midnight walmart right for some things he needed (alabama flip-flops, twizzlers, deodarant, etc. OH, and popsicles for me). we have been soo busy. finding a new car, travelling to ATL for that new car, (not really new but new to us) we found the most precious little 2009 honda civic. it smells horribly of smoke but that's really the only thing we don't love about... him??!! her??!! oh my goodness, just realized we haven't even come up with a name. working on that. okay, that was sidetracked. so we stayed up so late and got a little cranky and delusional from being tired. 2:30 came and we were finally sleeping in bed. 5:15 came and one of our FIVE alarms went off... sometimes dan can't sleep if he's afraid he won't get up, so we set five alarms on THREE different devices. it was a circus of annoyance.

so i drove dan to meet with his group and said goodbye. UGH. he gave me his wedding ring and told me he loves me and gave me a hug and kiss and that was it. driving away. i was strong. (he takes his wedding ring off when he swims, and he'll be swimming for two weeks, so i just kept it for safe keeping. it's my thumb ring now.) so we got to talk frequently during his travels which was blissful. but now... he... is... unreachable. in the bahamas. out of the country. no cell phone. possibly NO internet. that means i'm LUCKY if i hear from him. once. or, at all. UGHH!!?!! the anguish! it's been about six hours since i talked to him and i was asleep for five of those six and i've already thought of about 15 things i just had to ask/tell him. i'm lucky if i eat or shower or get up from my ridiculously long and overindulgent sleeping/naps.

i've been filling my mind with nursing research (the class i'm taking right now). i got a new computer out of necessity. (online class). i got a call from DCH yesterday (the company i work for) and they told me i've been chosen to receive a homemade quilt from people in california. chosen?! a quilt?! i was elated. it's soooo precious and most certainly made by grandma's. the quilters guild of fountain valley, california to be exact. i love them. thank you for making me feel loved and special and having a warm blankey when i feel kind of lonely and sad inside. mission accomplished quilters guild. :)

thank you to everyone who is texting me and calling me and loving me because you know i feel more vulnerable now that i was two weeks ago. ohhhhhhhhhhhhh boy. a messs.


  1. ahh, just come move in with us! we all miss you and we always have popsicles. come on. ok, at least think about it. Ok, go eat or sleep, or whatever you want!!!!

  2. You look so cute!

    I know how you feel, being away from your husb is soooo hard! But it always makes being reunited so exciting right?

    Do you guys need anything or is it better to donate to that website?

  3. I love you racheal! I thought you were awesome all the way back in nursing school and you prove it more and more all the time. The whole office here is following your story through me - and we wondered if you need anything. We would love to send you a care package - will you tell me your address? Just we are thinking of you and you are in my prayers and thoughts regularly. Hope things get better and the time for Dan to get back flies by - love you, Karin

  4. Oh sweetie, I know how hard it is to literally miss "your other half" How thankful I am that you have developed that bond with your sweetheart. We are so excited to see you on Monday and are ready to pamper our sweet Rachael the minute you land in Las Vegas! We love you so and pray that you will both be protected while you are apart from one another. We will try to take the sting out of being away from Dan. Love, Mama

  5. Oh, and I looooovvvveee your precious quilt stitched with the love of wonderful women!

  6. ummm you just need to come out to rexburg and stay with US!!!!!!! come come come!!!!!!!!!!! come pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease! <3 <3 <3
    p.s. i know that i would be the EXACT same way. peas in a pod. <3

  7. LOVE the quilt. So sweet and wonderful. I'm glad you get to go home and visit. Your parents will spoil you rotten, I know it. So great. I am amp'd to be home too! Family is the best. XO love you sis.

  8. Stay strong Rach! That's a beautiful new quilt. :)

  9. How exciting for Dan, but UG for you! For him to be unreachable is not fair.

  10. You sweet girl. You and Dan are in our thoughts and prayers. We hope that you heal soon, on all levels. Looks like you're going to Vegas to be with your parents? They're so wonderful and will take such good care of you! Loves to you and Dan.