strung out on acid

something inside me just doesn't feel right about pushing narcotics into the veins of young "polysubstance abusers." yet i have no choice if i want my job.

"pain is subjective."

is what i'm taught to believe. so... sigh, i'm a drug pusher.

BCF

what makes a cousin a best friend?

reuniting after months of being apart &realizing we do all the same things.

what makes a best friend a sister?

when she knows exactly what i need when i need it.

ashley lurline james keller

=

best.

utmost adorable card in the galaxy [she made] to prove it :]

LANDMU!!:]

{please click on the picture and admire it large to appreciate it's adorabality!}

homecoming

One year in retrospect... We moved here around homecoming time last year, so i've been thinking a lot about our past year here & how things have changed! We're still rollin with the tide...

[D&R]

[They have a huge bonfire out on the quad, by the Denny Chimes the Friday before the Homecoming game. It takes the grass about a year to grow back, then time for Homecoming again!]

[Every year at homecoming the Fraternities and Sororities build floats and display them outside of the house. Pretty impressive!]

[Ingram... winning as always]

[Saban with the National Championship crystal ball]

falling in love

I got a chill and giggled a little as I walked out of work this morning and snuggled up tight in Dan's jacket. It is soo fall. Adorable ceramic jack-o-lantern and two mason jars filled with candy corns&pumpkins on the coffee table, pumpkin chocolate chip cookie dough in the freezer, and a scarecrow on the front door.

Tonight is my last night of work and I'm off for six nights. Fantastic? I feel so free as those big sliding doors open for me as they anticipate my stride. I know I don't have to come back for a week... The world is mine. But I can't help but think about the people I take care of. The precious man who is dying of terrible, horrible, evil, painful cancer that is spreading with every breath he takes... always asks me how I am doing after I ask him how he is. "I'm doin pretty good... how are you doin?" And his wife who sleeps in that crooked hospital chair at his side night after night, never leaving his side. I will never forget him. I can whole-heartedly say that I love him.

School is overwhelming. I can do it and I'm doing well, but I'm stressed. I don't like that. I like to enjoy my time and have plenty of it for those things that fill me. I want to be able to have all the time I want to prepare my lessons for my young women and do projects around the house and cook fabulous meals and go out with the missionaries and blog til my hearts content and photography my life and make cards and just be me! I am going to petition to switch to part-time instead of full-time. Why the rush?

Dan and I are in love. With eachother. With our church. With Heavenly Father. With our apartment. With our families. With candy corns. With skip-bo. With our snuggly warm bed. With prayers. With texting. With photoshoots. With adventures. With Whitlock [our plant]. With our future. With our dreams. With our life.

It's what you make it. We make it happy and playful and full of love.

:]

southern style

dan and i went on a quaint little walk around the historic district of tuscaloosa, a mini grid of beautiful unique homes, each with their own southern style. not like out west where all the homes are cookie cut outs. we enjoyed our little date; here are some of our top picks:

how beautiful? i adore that house with the red door. it reminds me of indiana jones somehow. the whole time we were dreaming about our future home and what we like and love and all our plans.

[babybreakdown]

missing the innumerable, exponential amount of friends we had in rexburg [or so it seems now].
jealous of the social network.
jealous of everyone who lives in western us.
do you realize how joyous it is to live close to people you love?
do you appreciate having friends who appreciate you in all your silly, crazy, stupidness?
do you take advantage of living by family?
missing people.
skype is not cutting it.
i just feel like we are different here.
feels like different everything.
sometimes i lash out at dan &say "WHY DID YOU BRING ME HERE???"
and he laughs and smiles and hugs me in an attempt to comfort me while i hit him.
i have forgotten what it's like to have girlfriends.
to be able to just be with friends and enjoy just being with a friend.
i have one friend who i feel close to out here in bermuda, and he's my eternal soul mate.
friendships must be forced, like hard work.
all i would need is one, and i would be happy.

i'm positive i'm breaking some sort of idolatry/jealousy commandment, so just go down and read my other blog entry about happiness so they can cancel out at least.

serenity in simplicity: LOVED!!

In my church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we hear truly inspired leaders of our church speak to us two times a year. Over 20,000 people meet at the beautiful conference center and millions more listen in church buildings and homes around the world. We also get to hear the angelic Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

These are not just sermons or lectures that we hear, they are messages from our Heavenly Father, sent to us through these inspired men who study the scriptures, ponder, and pray to prepare these talks. These messages, if listened to and applied, will truly bring more joy, peace, and direction in your life. They have in mine!

I had recently been feeling a little bit overwhelmed and stresssed. I knew conference was coming up; and I prayed that I would be able to be comforted and receive, through the Spirit, the messages I need. My prayers truly were answered perfectly. I have felt so much peace and love in my life, just in these past few days. The messages I heard were for me, giving me those answers I had been praying for. I received promptings from the Holy Spirit and now feel equipped to go on with my day and face my challenges with strength and faith.

My testimony is humble, yet it is one of faith and commitment. I know I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, who is aware of me every day, who answers my prayers, and who has given me tools to make it through the journey of this life, happy and loved. {And isn't that really what we all want?}

President Uchtdorf's words struck me right in the h-e-a-r-t:

"It is good advice to slow down a little, steady the course, and focus on the essentials when experiencing adverse conditions. This is a simple but critical lesson to learn. It may seem logical when put in terms of trees or turbulence, but it's surprising how easy it is to ignore when it comes to applying these same principles in our own daily lives.

When stress levels rise, distress appears, or tragedy strikes, too often we attempt to keep up the same frantic pace, or even accelerate, thinking somehow, that the more rushed our pace, the better off we will be.

One of the characteristics of modern life seems to be that we are moving at an ever-increasing rate, regardless of turbulence or obstacles. Let's be honest; it's rather easy to be busy. We all can think of a list of tasks that will overwhelm our schedules. Some might even think that their self worth depends on the length of their to-do list. They flood the open spaces in their time with lists of meetings and minutia, even during times of stress and fatigue. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in their lives. It is said that any virtue, when taking to an extreme, can become a vice. Over scheduling our days would certainly qualify for this. There comes a point where milestones can become millstones, and ambitions albatrosses around our neck. The wise understand and apply the lessons of tree rings and turbulence, they resist the temptation to get caught up in the frantic rush of daily life... They follow the advice, "There's more to life than increasing its speed. In short, they focus on the things that matter most.

There is a beauty and clarity that comes from simplicity that we sometimes do not appreciate in our thirst for intricate solutions.

You can listen to the whole talk here [last talk of the Saturday morning session]. I hope I can really do this! I will keep you posted, but I'm going to need some encouragement. :] Well... I clearly loooved conference. What were you favorite talks?

[Dan and I started a new tradition to go on a "family walk" between sessions on Sunday. We started it out with a bang this year and went to the arboretum. It was simply blissful!]